My Girlfriend

My girlfriend has big brown eyes

Boobs as big as butterball turkeys,

A toothy smile to sweeten her treacherous lies

And big teeth to shame the other hussies.

My girlfriend never wears panties.

She can’t cook a lick.

Her favorite flowers are pansies,

And does wonders with a joystick.

My girlfriend loves the night life:

Bar hopping, after-hour parties and such,

Dancing all night with another man’s wife,

And she’s got a wonderfully soft touch.

My girlfriend loves to sleep late

While her man is out doing his thing.

She doesn’t put much stock in luck and fate,

But adores money and bling.

My girlfriend’s legs are smooth as cream.

Heads turn when she enters a room,

But don’t ever ask her to clean

’Cause she’ll beat you to death with the broom.

My Girlfriend looks great in a minidress,

Got pouty lips and long eyelashes

And loves men who bench press

And women with sultry eyes and firm asses.

My girlfriend says bras are for old maids.